10 Life lessons that took me out of rock bottom.

I hope they give you food for thought if you’re going through a difficult time.

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I’m a little psychic (hence my name here), so some of these came from insights and oracles (for myself. I only share the ones I consulted. I would never share anyone else’s reading). Other ones came from helpful teachers and masters (included the ones who scammed me or acted like energy vampires, because these hardships teach precious lessons too). Finally, a third group of lessons came from life experience. I won’t say which is which, honestly, it doesn’t matter. I’m simply sharing what is useful for you guys.

1. It’s ok to strive for excellence in helping others… As long as that’s your genuine style, and not a people-pleasing strategy. That way, if you’re not reciprocated, you can just shrug and think “ah well. Not everyone has the same soil I have, to grow these flowers I’m giving out”.
2. Like attracts like… in ideal circumstances only. Life can be far from ideal (which is why people become energy vampires, narcissists, etc, and stray from that similarity they’d theoretically have with you), but if you face this reality head-on, you can deal with it (instead of romanticising things and getting disappointed). Always pay attention to where someone comes from and what that background says about them, because they sure as hell ain’t gonna admit it.
3. Anyone can cook, says chef Gusteau in the Ratattouille movie. Anyone can [insert your activity here]. A-N-Y-O-N-E. And if you don’t fit in, rejoice! That means you can pioneer and make a name for yourself. I mean… If nobody ever pioneered, we’d still be in caves.
4. It’s ok to feel anger. If it wasn’t a human emotion, humans wouldn’t feel it. PERIOD.
5. Fear of reactivity is the new fear of hell. Medieval, outdated, unproductive and silencing. You’re allowed to react if someone (yes, even a religious leader) rubs you the wrong way. Ya know who would like you to be docile at all times? Cult leaders. Enough said.
6. Nobody owes you gratitude, forgiveness, or closure. The flip side is you don’t owe anyone any of these things either! They’re useful, but they must be genuine and come spontaneously. (That means without manipulation. Yes, Karen, even “nice” manipulation).
7. Even the most brilliant communicator will be misunderstood by someone who just doesn’t want to listen. It’s not personal. Just move on.
8. If you love or hate something in the world, it means you love or hate it in yourself. You’re always ranting about inflated egos? Guess who has an inflated ego they’re hiding from sight! Can’t stop talking about medicine? Guess who should get over those fears and become a doctor! You, dear. As within, so without.
9. People will give you advice they don’t follow (because they’re idealists who WISH they listened to their own words). It’s more common than you think. You’re not wrong to be outraged, but it WILL happen again. (And that doesn’t mean the advice is bad. It’s usually good. Keep the advice, say bye bye to the hypocrite).
10. Individualism helps you see yourself as separate from others, unique, perhaps “not belonging”, but the good side is it makes envy pointless (because if each person is unique, why compare?!). On the other hand, collectivism helps you see yourself as part of a whole, you learn to belong and see the ripple effect you have on others… But you become more prone to envying people (because if we are all one, how dare that motherfucker have more success than I?). One extreme is not superior, but there are people who preach extreme collectivism because it sounds moral (and that’s why they rain on your parade in hopes that you stop chasing your dreams — they’re envious. They can’t stand seeing you shine) or extreme individualism because it’s badass (and that’s why they’re compulsive and have addictions — they’re ungrounded and lost. They can’t stand seeing you have peace). Don’t listen to either of these 2 extremes. They’re idiots. Balance is the key.

There are people charging for advice that doesn’t even scratch the surface of the above, but I’m a big-mouthed oracle who feels avenged by helping others for free. 💅

Gone are the days when I would stay modest and avoid shining too bright in fears of scaring the people I thought would have good lessons for me. Now I understand they’re just extremists, rebelling like angsty teenagers against the other extreme of the same spectrum because perhaps that’s where their caregivers were.

Ahh, good ol’ Western world — everything you see is “too much”, and balance is at a premium. Whatever happened to the 2nd Delphic maxim? It’s supposed to be Western, but people don’t care about Ancient wisdom anymore. Some just pretend to care, but fall on these very common pitfalls that make me doubt their competence for offering guidance.

Whoa, okay, I threw so much shade that this is getting dark. I’ll lighten the mood a bit: so… I don’t know what you’re going through. I won’t pretend to know (and I don’t look into it against anyone’s will). However, sometimes, regardless of the specifics, it’s probably helpful to start by being kind to yourself. That means screaming into the void if you fancy that.

(Record me a sample, let’s make music)

Eventually, you’ll realise it’s pointless to let certain people live rent-free in your head; But if they do for a short while — especially while the “dust is settling”, that’s perfectly normal. Hey. We’re all human. Here, have some pizza.

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Some humans are annoyingly arrogant and don’t like learning of any kind… But they’re still human. It’s okay. Nothing is beyond change.

In fact, change is the only constant in life.

The storm shall pass. And when it does, we’ll see the sun again. Together.