A rant and a word of encouragement for each zodiac sign
Yes, it includes mine. I’m not better than anyone.
Let’s try a more light-hearted article.
It’s just a bit of fun, feel free to disagree if you don’t relate to what I said about your sign, I won’t defend what I said endlessly. I’m simply putting my thoughts on paper, if you don’t like it, just exit the blog. It ain’t difficult.
Aries
Dear Aries, I really wish you would stop trying to emulate an “ideal” persona and focus on being yourself instead. Of course you can take it or leave it, since you aren’t one for being bossed around — one of your strengths, if I may say so! You were born to lead, not to blindly follow the masses. So, please, consider working on this ego of yours, because once you do, you’ll no longer give in to those who taunt you. You’ll no longer do things out of spite (which is, in fairness, letting OTHER PEOPLE dictate the direction of YOUR life. Does it sound fair? Yeah, it doesn’t to me either). You’ll just keep doing your thing. And this will be liberating.
My rant for you has to do with patience. You’ve probably heard this before, it ain’t new, but honestly, it makes sense so I’ll just repeat it: look, you know patience is your Achilles’ heel. I know it. Everybody knows it. So, what about working on it? I’m not saying “go and do something completely unnatural to you”, that’s unreasonable; but maybe, just maybe, consider exercising it a tiny bit? There’s no need for extremes here. A tiny bit would already serve you well. Yes it might be challenging but didn’t you enjoy challenges? Or are you telling me you can’t handle it?
Taurus
Perseverance is your middle name, and I’m here for it. You could teach the entire zodiac about it! Slay! Those who say Taurus is “lazy” don’t know shit. Don’t listen to them. You’re the strongest sign in terms of withstanding adversity in order to keep pursuing your dreams, and that’s more than admirable — it’s amazing. Keep doing you.
The one rant I have for Taurus is about their scarcity mindset. Taurus, what the fuck? Why do you cling so much to the things you have or used to have, maybe people are wondering? Here’s why you do that: you think there isn’t enough to go around. You think you can’t ever find more where it came from. But that’s utter bullshit, and we both know it’s bullshit, so let’s put a stop to it. It ain’t doing you any favours. A world of abundance doesn’t automatically mean you get to make things fall on your lap with zero effort; It just means that a loss isn’t the end of the world, because good things always abound and you can always get more. You can cherish what you have, AND acknowledge the abundance in the world too. It’s not either-or, you can have both. Isn’t this mindset better? Well, let’s go for it then, and drop the bullshit.
Gemini
You know what everybody says? you’re adaptable, Gemini. You’re a social chameleon, great with words, outstanding at embracing change… Bla bla bla. What a bunch of clichés. I’ll go out of the box here: your main quality isn’t any of these, it’s your self-awareness. Did you know? If you didn’t, now you do. This is your biggest lesson for your opposite, Sagittarius — if only that stubborn centaur would listen to you! — because Sagittarius is the king of “do as I say, not as I do”. You, Gemini, don’t fall for that. You’re very aware of what you’re doing well and what you aren’t doing so well, and you won’t fake it or fool anybody. Your contradictions are all natural, because it’s human nature to be contradictory, but they never come from a facade borne out of fear. You’re the very opposite of a cult leader and I commend you for that.
My one rant, Gemini, is against your exaggerated impulsivity. Dear… just chill once in a while. I know life can get fast-paced, but it doesn’t have to do that 24/7. It can’t be healthy. There’s novelty and juicy new lessons in taking things slowly, too. It will allow you to deepen your knowledge, or relationships, or whatever you’re pursuing. The depths aren’t as scary as they seem! Give it a try and let me know all about how it went. Hey… Worst case scenario, you’ll end up with a good story to tell!
Cancer
Believe it or not, you have a lot of wisdom. I know trusting yourself isn’t your strong suit (instead, you second-guess all the time), but it’s true, you can be very wise. Perhaps it’s the combo of your strong intuition + the endless curiosity you have, which allows you to learn a lot just by observing. You’re quite affectionate too, but the quality that stands out to me the most (via experience) is actually how mysterious you are. More so than Scorpio. There’s an aura of magic about you that can’t be ignored. It could be your connection with the moon. Who knows?
I’m fed-up with one thing though, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in saying it. Cancer… for the love of god(s), please, I beg you, stop treating people like babies. Do you know how it comes across? Condescending. I know, shocker. You don’t wanna be perceived as condescending; but you accidentally cause that, because of your insistence in forgetting that adulthood is a thing. I know you’re just trying to look after and nurture your relationships, however, if you just rely on your instincts alone without reading the room or making an effort to listen to what people are telling you, you’ll just end up treating everyone like babies. People aren’t helpless like that. They’re adults. They’re aware of their own actions (so stop assuming the best when in fact someone is being an arsehole to you), they’re aware of their own needs (because maybe you’re used to one thing, but this other person has another life story and you can’t simply guess what they need, so LISTEN). Etc. You know the drill. If in doubt, always ask yourself: “am I being too motherly here? is this how two adults should behave or not?”
Leo
Ah, yes. Leo. The life of the party! You have a lively, childlike energy that doesn’t go unnoticed. You could be going through the most depressing shit, and NOBODY will know because you’re able to focus entirely on helping everyone around you have fun, and you make it look easy, like flipping a switch. I admire that, but I’ll also caution you against focusing too much on the external. Ya know… Sometimes you could do with “flipping that switch” internally too. You have a talent for finding the silver lining in every situation, so why do you keep being so mean to yourself? Be generous to yourself — just like you are to others.
Leo, we need to talk about pride. I know it matters and we shouldn’t overlook it, but… Real talk: tone it down a notch. Just a notch. It would make a world of difference, and actually improve your image socially at the same time. Seriously. Ever heard of “beating a dead horse”? Yeah, you do that too much. There are battles we don’t need to pick, and it’s okay to let others “win” sometimes. Do you know how many people are gonna remember that one interaction you had when a mean girl “owned” you at school in 1995? Zero. Well, maybe one — you — but you get my point. We blow things out of proportion, don’t we? Minor mishaps are very easily forgotten, so why give them so much importance, even if they’re happening here and now? Let’s aim BIG. Let’s redirect all that wasted focus onto what truly matters: your bigger goals and purpose.
Virgo
Like all earth signs, you’re very down-to-earth and don’t usually get lost in abstractions or chaotic energy. Unlike Gemini (ruled by the same planet as you — Mercury), you’re able to focus on one thing at a time and dissect it without losing sight of practicality. This can come at the cost of “seeing the big picture”, so to speak, but it’s a wonderful quality to have anyway. You’re pretty good with patience, never rushing things or acting on impulse, because you know the value of careful analysis before action. All of these things contribute to your “perfectionism”, but individually, they’re all strengths. It’s no wonder you’re such a good learner and can achieve anything you put your mind to!
On the flip side… I’m sorry to break it to you, Virgo, but you’re not the best at self-awareness. I know you like to believe that you’re good at scrutinising everything — including your own actions — but when you’re looking at “negatives”, your focus is too often on the neurotic fears you have, and not often enough directed at what TRULY exists. Yes, you invent stories in your head and mistake them for reality. This is ironic, because when you’re looking at something that DOESN’T have emotional weight to you, you’re actually quite good at analysing (like I said above). The problem is when your doubts and fears get in the way, and you don’t know how to deal with them, so you let them control you — that’s where the inaccuracy with analysing negative things comes from. So, let’s first of all admit that. Okay? And second of all, let’s learn emotional regulation with Pisces (your opposite). You’ll thank me later.
Libra
The zodiac’s diplomat… And also the effortless seducer. What would we do without Libra? We’d all be in hell, probably. Your qualities are pretty much always in demand everywhere, which could be why you’re always so busy and rarely have time for self-care. The common narrative goes that Libras care too much about others’ opinions and try too hard to please… But in fact, that’s an envious narrative. What people are not seeing is how you’re GENUINELY helpful to the world, so much so that your talents keep being requested wherever you go. I empathise. But really, it would benefit you to learn to say “no” more often. It’s hard, but we need to do hard things every now and then. It’s part of the show.
Libra, please commit. This isn’t just about relationships, it’s about life. Your biggest flaw is also the thing you don’t like to talk about, but alas, you’ve landed on the oracle’s blog, so don’t complain when I poke your wound: you’re afraid of the blame. You want others, not you, to run the risk of making a faux pas, which is why you’re passing on the possibility of applause too. Come on, let’s admit it. This is why you’d rather others make decisions for you, and god damn it, I HATE it. You like pleasing other people? Well, here’s one area where you’re displeasing everyone BIG time, so maybe work on that. You’re literally placing a burden on everyone’s shoulder. It’s not fair. The truth, Libra, is you aren’t as humble as you think. Your ego is in fact big — this can be resolved, but not without shadow work — and you’re secretly afraid of being painted as “the villain” in someone’s story. The fact is it’s inevitable, though. No two people think alike! You know this better than anyone, you’re a mediator. So, there’s bound to be people who won’t like this or that thing you did… and, yes, paint you as the villain. The thing is… Why do you care? because your ego is inflated and wants to be appeased, that’s why. If it weren’t, you’d just focus on being good to the people in your own circles of intimacy, and let the rest of the world say what they want.
Scorpio
Here’s one sign that doesn’t fear being perceived as a villain — as with any sign, Scorpio is here to teach the previous sign a life lesson. Scorpio knows there is power in embracing the taboo, and does it masterfully. Scorpio understands that diplomacy and mediation, while necessary, can only be achieved on a surface level. If you dive deep into literally anything, you discover worlds that are far too intimate to warrant compromises or social masks. That is arguably its most admirable trait. In other words: I stan.
The problem I have with Scorpio (and I’m probably not alone) is it arrogantly underestimates people. This is why, instead of keeping secrets effectively, it plays peekaboo with people — raise your hand if you’ve ever seen a Scorpio hint at something they’re hiding, only to finish the sentence with “…but I can’t tell you about it”. Oh, you can’t tell? Funny, then why did you fucking mention it in the first place?! Are you here keeping secrets OR spilling the tea? Which one is it, Scorpio? This can seem like a contradiction, but to me it makes perfect sense: as I said, Scorpio underestimates people. This sign (probably won’t admit it, but) thinks people are too stupid, too dumb, to even try guessing what they’re guarding — so they throw these baits about. Scorpio… That’s not a good look. And more than looking bad, it’s also objectively bad. It conveys the message that you’re not trustworthy, because how can anyone trust you if you keep pretending to do one thing when in fact you’re doing another? Yep. So, let’s try and be a bit more humble, shall we?
Sagittarius
Sagittarius is at their best when motivating, both themselves and others. What else would you expect of a sign ruled by Jupiter? The power of positivity knows no bounds in Sagittarius’ hands. We love it. Keep it up. They’re also a great companion for unusual pursuits, no questions asked. Wanna learn Albanian? Invite a Sagittarius to learn it together, “just to see what happens”. Wanna travel to Mongolia out of the blue? Invite a Sagittarius. Wanna invest in a startup? There probably is a Sagittarius willing to run it with you. They’re not impulsive like Gemini, in the sense of quickly hopping from one adventure to the other, but instead, they enjoy pursuing new things for the sake of long-term learning — and won’t abandon boat too easily once the endeavour is established, so you can actually count on Sagittarius. This is a great quality, very hard to find.
Conversely, as I already hinted above (see Gemini), Sagittarius has a tendency for dogma and controlling behaviour — making for “cult leader” behaviour if left unchecked. This has always been, is, and keeps being, my biggest complaint about Sagittarius. In a way, it makes sense, because we’re talking about a sign that is not afraid of commitment (and cults take a lot of commitment to even happen!), but god damn it, this energy could be redirected for better pursuits. One way to combat that would be, instead of saying “look guys, I found the one and only truth”, rewording that as “look guys, I found a truth I really like, so I’ll commit to it for now. Who is with me?”. No assumption of permanence or too much pushy behaviour. Love it or hate it, Sag, you’re a bit intolerant to disagreement. There isn’t always ONE right and ONE wrong. Sometimes, two completely opposite viewpoints can be right. Context matters.
Capricorn
Show up, hustle, keep at it, and you’ll get there. This is likely the motto of every Capricorn. Similar to Taurus, they like to know their achievements are because of their own merit, and that’s a great quality to have since it indicates maturity and responsibility. Usually (mis)perceived as conservative, Capricorn can surprise you with how open-minded they are. The thing they’re after isn’t comfort (like the real conservatives. They’re all after comfort); instead, Capricorn pursues the tried-and-tested. Is your idea wacky and new? Well, Capricorn may or may not embrace it. Is it tried and tested? Hell yea, count on them! This is a reaction to Sagittarius who gets hung up on innovation “for the heck of it” when often it’s not actually feasible, and all the hype they make has no real substance behind it — hence, again, cults. Capricorn dislikes that and finds it disingenuous, so they focus a lot on what is actually feasible; has it been done before; show me the stats. It takes a lot of effort to fool a Capricorn! They’re not “starry-eyed” like most other signs in the zodiac.
Dear Capricorn, you need to be more light-hearted. Go play with children for a while. This is not a drill. The most annoying thing about Capricorn is it takes life too seriously — the “grumpy and melancholic” reputation isn’t by chance! It is true that we live in a world full of dangers, but is that the ONE thing you wanna focus on? Is that the ONE thing you’d like to remember when you’re about to die and you look back on how your life has been? Exactly. Let’s just not. If there wasn’t a light side to our existence, what would we even be hustling for? [Insert here Churchill quote that basically says the same if you remove the war reference].
Aquarius
Very unconcerned with other people’s opinions — similar to its neighbour Pisces — Aquarius is the single most “YOLO” sign in the zodiac. It’s no wonder they make friends so easily! Aquarius is hard to ignore, although they aren’t focusing on drawing attention to themselves, but people admire their imagination and creativity. Developing a bit further Capricorn’s idea of “betting on what’s feasible”, Aquarius has a soft spot in their heart for Science and technology. Anything that gets peer-reviewed has got to be trustworthy! On top of that, there’s a much more boundless open-mindedness to this sign, which is hard not to stan.
Aquarius, stop being so annoying. Seriously. You’re great company when all is going well, but as soon as you get into a debate, you become the most insufferable prick. When your priorities shift from “actually helping out” to “just winning the argument”, I think we can all agree you could do without that. So what if your logic is flawless? Logic isn’t all there is to life. So what if “theoretically [insert argument here]”? If you lose sight of what’s ACTUALLY playing out in front of you, that’s no good whatsoever! Let’s live more and theorise less.
Pisces
The hopeless romantic, eternal dreamer, Disney-happy-ending-pursuer. Pisces apparently lives life as if always wearing rose-tinted glasses; But don’t let that fool you! Their astounding intuition helps them discern their way through life and avoid pitfalls most people would struggle with. So, they only look foolish, but aren’t actually foolish, if that makes sense. The problem is they struggle with teaching that useful discernment skill, but you can still learn a lot by observing how Pisces navigates life — hence, words aren’t needed anyway. Pisces are also great at attuning to others’ feelings and needs. They won’t force-feed you what you don’t need, or ignore your desperate cries for help. What’s not to love?
Well, here is what’s not to love: Pisces, for fuck sake, stop rescuing people who don’t want to be saved. Honest to god! It drives me mad. You’re great, but you sabotage yourselves like that and there’s no changing your minds. Stop it. Everyone learns at their own pace. You can’t control it. I know it pains you to see others suffer, and that’s noble of you, but please don’t forget you’re human. You’re not a deity. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up going under too. And if that happens, you won’t be able to save the people who DO actually want your help. How about that? Keep in mind the good old flight attendant wisdom: put on your own oxygen mask in order to help others.
