And you were right. Confusion can be weaponised by these dangerous leaders. Same with my story, even DURING the time I was still relying on him, I'd ask questions to better understand certain things and he'd either imply I had a huge ego (because "how dare" I not eat it all up without discernment, lol) or beat around the bush and say nothing substantial.

It's all too easy for narcissists to 1) accuse their victims of being narcissistic, and 2) deflect someone's genuine need to make sense of an experience as "self-centered" when it's anything but.