Dear Virgos… We need to talk.
Come here. You’re better off listening this time.
I’ll go straight to the point, since I know you guys are practical: we need to talk about arrogance.
When people talk about Virgo, they talk about perfectionism. It’s like a match made in heaven, and I’m pretty sure everybody knows the stereotype. Perfectionism is “the problem” Virgo have. It’s the one thing they should work on to overcome their (mostly relationship) problems in life. Blah blah.
I disagree, though. I don’t think you can address perfectionism on its own. I’m coming here to tell you it’s a lot easier to look at the root cause of perfectionism: arrogance.
Like anything in life, there’s nuance. I don’t speak in absolutes. If you follow me, you know. Let’s not eradicate perfectionism OR arrogance from the face of the Earth. They’re both useful and good in small amounts. Let’s just maybe control them.
Arrogance is a shadow. When we have it, we could swear we don’t! Oh, but we do… Blindness does not = non-existence. If you can’t see a thing, well, too bad, it’s still there anyway.
Are you REALLY in search of perfection? Or ACTUALLY in search of being right?
Food for thought here.
I was raised by a Virgo, you know. My mother. She’s a lot of things I dislike, resent, and wish would just heal already… But the ONE good thing about her is she’s a Virgo. I keep saying that, I like Virgo. She’s the only exception I don’t get on with. Hence, you might be surprised by this piece of information.
It was very interesting (and relieving, in a way!) to meet other Virgos later in life and realise what a healthy version of this sign looks like: generous, gracious, self-motivated, with a good level of detachment and a cool head. I’m a big fan. I love Virgo season, too. Best weather in the entire calendar (as far as Ireland goes).
The problem… is Virgo arrogance.
If you know what’s Virgo arrogance, you’re probably nodding along. Shout out to the people who deal with Virgos, you’re welcome here too.
Virgo has a very specific kind of arrogance, because let’s be real, many other signs display arrogance too. Leo gets very overt (their arrogance comes from a place of showing off), Scorpio can be covertly arrogant (it comes from a place of trying to control people), Taurus can be stubbornly arrogant (it comes from stubbornness. It’s not malicious, there’s just a lot — and I mean A LOT — of attachment behind their arrogance. A big fear of learning something new!), Aquarius gets confrontational (it’s an arrogance based on proving others wrong. They’re usually the one debating a Taurus, lol), Aries gets impulsively arrogant, Sagittarius religiously arrogant, etc. The list goes on and on.
Virgo arrogance is none of the above. They’re not fanatics, not competing, not trying to manipulate, not attached, and not intellectually arrogant. Instead, Virgo focuses on achieving efficiency.
That’s why Virgo arrogance leads to perfectionism (whereas other signs’ arrogance lead to, well, their own traits).
Out of all the zodiac signs, Virgo is always the one shouting “whoa, whoa, whoa… Let’s streamline this process here, you’re being FAR too inefficient, pal”.
It’s like they can’t stand having to witness people taking too long or beating around the bush too much when performing a task. Everything JUST HAS to be efficient for a Virgo to be satisfied. If signs were countries, Virgo would be Germany.
And that’s fine, I mean, sure, why not. Efficiency has its place. Too much of it, though… Uhhh I’m not sure it’s healthy. We all need to get a bit irrational and inefficient from time to time, we’re human, we have feelings. That’s why Pisces — the opposite — provides Virgo a counterbalance. (Click here for an article on the Pisces-Virgo connection).
Efficiency has a good and a bad side. The good side, we already know — too much chaos is awful. The bad side, on the other hand… Has to do with close-mindedness and (ultimately, in extreme cases) colonialism.
I’m using colonialism with a small “c” here because it’s a metaphor I have for when we try to force our worldview down other people’s throats against their consent… Without even stopping to listen, to learn with the other person’s perspective. It’s like Colonialism, isn’t it? Just done on a smaller individual scale. This is why I keep saying and will repeat, Virgo needs to learn with Pisces.
Fun fact: even the Virgos who oppose Colonialism with capital “C” sometimes display the small “c” variety. It’s hypocritical, but happens a lot. Some Virgos get blinded by how committed they are to a political ideal, and forget to notice how they’re going against it in their small-scale interactions with fellow human beings. “Oh, let’s encourage biodiversity like we encourage cultural diversity”, then on the same text “only this one solution exists for the problem you’re telling me about”. My dear… Are you sure about that? Can’t you see the contradiction? Are you in favour or against multiplicity after all? I’m confused.
I’m not trying to crucify any Virgos here, don’t worry, I see where they’re coming from. They’re not consciously trying to “colonise” the other person — they’re just very confident in their own approach [to insert task here] because it has worked for them and their circle.
The problem is, Virgo, dear, listen here: your circle is tiny. Yes. Tiny. The world is so much wider! Who knows what else is there to see and experience? You can’t just categorically affirm your way is the only way, can you? No. Maybe it is The Way in your context. That’s fine. But life exists outside your context too.
This is why, when you address arrogance, you can address perfectionism.
…Because let’s be real: ain’t nobody complaining of the kind of perfectionism that enables progress and goal achievement. Are we? No. We stan. This good perfectionism comes from generosity.
What people complain about — and rightfully so — is the exaggerated, over-the-top perfectionism that leads to sayings such as “my way or the highway”. This problematic perfectionism comes from arrogance. It comes from a low tolerance for diversity, because with diversity comes learning from scratch, and learning from scratch can look like inefficiency and useless fluff… Until you see the point in it and become efficient at this new thing, which is a different kind of efficiency compared to the one you already knew.
The ego doesn’t want to be a newbie, does it? No, because it thinks that if you know A way, you know THE way. And learning with the other would diminish YOUR way because you wouldn’t be defending it (or worse! It would throw off the hierarchy! How come a teacher is learning something from a tangent a student brought up? Oh, no, the world will end!). And life is an eternal competition and we’re all out to get each other and let’s never lower our guard ever. (I don’t need to tell you how childish that sounds, do I?).
Virgo,
Relax.
In order to relax, you need to be okay with inefficiency. Not because it’s REALLY inefficient, but because maybe you’re assuming it’s something that it’s not. Did you ask the person what they’re doing? You could be surprised. Maybe they’re not trying to do what you think they’re trying to do. Maybe they’re already doing, masterfully, something you’ve never heard about, which is why you compared it to the nearest common denominator.
And maybe they ARE inefficient and in that case I’ll agree with you and we can get angry together, lol. But always ask. Don’t just assume. A little compassion goes a long way.
The world is full of cultures and languages for a reason. It’s not that “we can’t all agree”. It’s that multiple processes exist, for goals you can’t even imagine are out there. That’s beautiful, too.
