First impressions I have of Hellenic polytheists…

…based on the main god they are devoted to.

Tongue-in-cheek article.

Photo by Casey Lovegrove on Unsplash

There are 2 caveats, first of all:

1. If you’re just casually worshipping the gods, maybe you won’t relate. And that’s probably good! I’m poking fun at the mystics, mostly (the people who dive a lot deeper into specific practices and end up developing a stronger bond with 1 or 2 gods’ domains). I include myself in “mystics”.
2. These are, as the title already said, “first impressions”. I know some people have a hard time believing that it’s even possible to look past your first impressions with time (*cough cough Hekate worshippers cough cough*), but believe me, I am capable of that. I hardly ever hold on to them for the long term, so don’t despair, I WILL still be happy to get to know you despite the first impression. First impressions can be wrong in a number of ways… But maybe there’s a nugget of truth in them, somewhere? Who knows?

The list below is non-exhaustive and based on repeated experience only.

…So if you can’t find your god, don’t worry, it will probably be here in the future. I’m not stereotyping anyone, just looking at the common threads in interactions I’ve already had, because we tend to go for gods who resonate with us personality-wise. And in order to keep not stereotyping anyone, I need to leave out the gods whose devotees I haven’t met yet. (That’s why some popular gods aren’t in the list).

Without further ado, here’s a list of kinds of devotee (yes, the humans who worship the gods. Not the gods themselves. The gods’ names are just for reference).

Apollon

Pros: good at looking on the bright side and cheering others up. Great at brainstorming.

Cons: control freak tendencies. Difficulty accepting things as they are.

Artemis

Pros: resourceful and good at introspection (but will only do it on their own, without “help”).

Cons: moody and angsty. Unpredictable (which can be mistaken for “unreliable”).

Athena

Pros: patient and persistent. Rarely reactive, preferring to fully assess first what the person is up to.

Cons: a bit too cold without realising. If they care about connecting, these devotees could benefit from making a conscious effort to use humour or simply display warmth every now and then.

Dionysos

Pros: lighthearted and fun at times, deep and reflective at other times, and the timing is always perfect.

Cons: childish. Elusive and deflective (more than the average person) when confronted about something wrong they definitely are responsible for.

Hades

Pros: accepting and inclusive to a fault. Will listen to/include that one guy everyone is ignoring, just in case they aren’t justified in doing so.

Cons: accepting and inclusive to a fault. Honestly, Hades devotees, discernment doesn’t hurt. Take notes.

Hekate

Pros: alluring, always with a good story to tell. Good at reading between the lines (something most people do, but Hekate devotees do RIGHT).

Cons: hold too many grudges. Difficulty with “letting go”, realising that people change and life is dynamic.

Hermes

Pros: very creative (on-the-spot “improv” kind of creativity, not the Apollonian slowly honed craft). Warm and relatable. Great at letting go.

Cons: untrustworthy. Won’t hesitate in contradicting themselves (sometimes on the same sentence, and repeatedly).

Pan

Pros: consistent and trustworthy with the work they already agreed to do. Soothing and sometimes “motherly”.

Cons: pessimistic to a fault. Moan a bit too much and enjoy the attention (might start drama out of nowhere just to get it).

Persephone

Pros: curious, childlike, light-hearted. They also tend to have a very deep and edgy side, just like the goddess they worship.

Cons: either too trusting or overly cautious with people. I’ve never seen them strike a balance.

Poseidon

Pros: deep and reflective, enjoy interpreting dreams or anything else allegorical. Highly sensitive sometimes. Very attuned to subtle feelings, even in animals and other beings. Loyal to a fault.

Cons: did I say loyal to a fault? *Sigh* Sometimes people turn for the worse and need to be let go of. I’m sorry.

Zeus

Pros: “fatherly” (Not gender-specific. Just like the “motherly” above), good friend and cheerleader, will believe and encourage anything.

Cons: problems with arrogance. Difficulty with being humble or learning from the people who are “beneath” them. I mean, why is that surprising? Zeus is the king.