I disagree with Stoicism…
…because I’m FED UP with being told to be happy with breadcrumbs.
And if you’re fed up with the same thing, I’ve got your back, my friend.
Coping with “what is” can be powerful, but it ain’t the only tool in your box. Sometimes, we’re getting less than the bare minimum. And no, it will NEVER be acceptable or okay. To tell people to be happy with what they feel IN THEIR SOUL isn’t nearly enough to quench their thirst… just so we get to stay comfortable and keep the status quo in place… Is the greatest betrayal of all.
What are you thirsty for?
Is it food, shelter, healthcare and basic support to a standard that makes you feel like you truly have dignity?
Is it a loving relationship filled with reciprocity, patience, and mutual growth?
Is it a friendship where you get to feel uplifted, special, and taken care of?
Is it a job where you feel respected, valued, and needed?
Is it a spiritual belief that truly guides you towards self-actualisation?
You see, I’m not just saying “food, shelter, healthcare, support, love, friendship, employment, and spirituality”. It can’t be “just any” level of these things as long as they exist. Nope. Let’s NOT settle. I am specifying the BARE MINIMUM level of thest things a human being should be offered, because anything less than what I said above is 100% unacceptable. Anything less than what I said above should be a reason for revolution, complaint, and unrest.
Anything less than the above is injustice, and no amount of coping, no amount of gratitude, no amount of conformity to “keep the peace” and “stay polite” will EVER change that truth.
Let’s unpack the bare minimum standards we all should have:
The BARE MINIMUM standards I listed above are only perceived as “exceptional” or “outstanding” by most people today (and not “bare minimum”, as they should be)… because we’re normalising indignity.
It’s a fact. Think about it.
The only reason you can’t find a friend who will look after you and encourage you to grow and be happy, is not that most people lack empathy. On the contrary, most people HAVE empathy. Psychopaths are a minority of the worldwide population! It’s plain Science, it wasn’t me who said it. So, most people have empathy. But how come they hold on to this empathy, affection, warmth etc and hide it in a safe place deep inside, and only display it when they think someone is suffering very badly, almost dying, and begging desperately for some care? Well… It’s probably because today’s individualistic society teaches us that it’s normal not to offer or receive affection. It’s “normal” to stay hungry for deep connections in our everyday lives. And apparently, our “supplies of empathy” are a scarce resource to be saved only for those who are visibly at their wit’s end. So, when we reach out to each other for friendship and connection, from a place of relative peace and relaxation, people just assume, “oh, this person is not running on empty. So I’ll hide my affection from them because it should be saved for more urgent scenarios only”. AS IF it would run out! Guys, it does NOT run out! You can give as much as you want! Society is lying to us!
(I’m not saying “please keep being affectionate and open-hearted to a stranger who already showed you they’re up to no good”, NO! Don’t do that! Common sense is important. But why do we first approach each other from this cold and disconnected place? Why are we assuming the worst when there is ZERO evidence to the worst? Why aren’t we giving each other a first chance to begin with? THESE are the important questions).
The reason you can’t find a job where you’re valued, needed, AND respected, is because most people assume it’s “normal” to treat each other like crap in the workplace, cut corners as much as possible with salaries and bonuses, and be ruthless when employees express their human needs, even when we’re not desperate and we could do with keeping people happy. Society dictates that all this “emotional fluff” would distract us from the seriousness of the tasks at hand, but there is ZERO evidence that this assumption is true. In fact, the contrary seems to be the case: there is a direct correlation between levels of morale and productivity. So, why are we believing the assumption that has no basis on Science whatsoever? Well, guess what, society lied to us.
Still on the workplace example, our scarcity mindset runs so deep and is so ingrained in every culture and every society, that “third world” countries still believe morale and productivity are inversely correlated! And they are the countries where, objectively speaking, most of today’s production, logistics, (insert here hands-on work to bring us all goods and services), etc is located! Imagine how much more they could achieve if they only let go of this scarcity mindset whereby “if we make employees happier, if we give them what Europeans and North Americans already have, they’ll get lazy and stop working”. Imagine letting go of that wrongful assumption, and achieving so much more beyond their wildest dreams!
And I am by no means in favour of infinite growth or anarchic Capitalism at all. I’m just exaggerating in my conjecture above so that you see, BEYOND ANY DOUBT, the magnitude of the problem our collective scarcity mindset generates.
The reason why it’s so hard to find a religion, or a non-religious spiritual belief, which is NOT centered on “lowering your head, saying amen to what is, and forgetting about your basic human yearnings” under the pretense of pursuing martyrdom or enlightenment or whatever it is you call this self-sacrifice for no gratification… Is that society wants us to keep conforming to the status quo, keep who is fortunate on top and who is unfortunate on the bottom forever. Just like we did in the Middle Ages. And before, since time immemorial, because most religions are pretty old by now and could do with an update.
Sure, there are levels to this collective problem. Depending on the prevailing cultural values and philosophies in each given place, the problem can be more or less severe — but it seems to always be there. Nonetheless, there is no overlord controling “society” at a worldwide level. This isn’t a problem all elites secretly agreed upon behind curtains somewhere (although I empathise with the conspiracy theorists who think so, because it can be hard not to). The coincidences we see across cultures might just be because of a universal human struggle with preventing greed and at the same time pursuing some basic level of hierarchical structure for all of us to live under.
…But why do we struggle to see that there is no need to deprive others of the good stuff in order to “save” the good stuff for the few? Well, that’s where my central point can be found: our survival instinct as a species, while sometimes helpful, also causes a few problems. One of these problems is the scarcity mindset.
I’m not even talking about abolishing inequality altogether (although that’d be nice), I’m telling you the problem is so serious today that even without abolishing it, we could still give every single soul on the planet enough to get all their basic needs met. That’s how unbelievably unequal our society is. EVERYWHERE.
“There’s never enough for everyone. Stay alert. Stay vigilant. They want to steal from us”.
The above is intentionally vague because it can be money, or love, or empathy, or success, or attention, or you fill in the gap. There’s never enough of anything. Can you see how this is a mindset? Because CLEARLY this is not logical. All of these things have individual intricacies that couldn’t possibly make for the same level of abundance or scarcity if we looked at them and compared and contrasted them objectively. And yet, we think they’re all equally scarce. Because in order to survive in a harsh environment, we must not take anything that is good or warm or kind or enjoyable for granted.
The thing is… How many of us is surviving in a harsh environment? Objectively speaking. Not man-made, but objectively. How many of us wake up scared of getting eaten by a lion, or attacked by sharks, or burned alive, or anything like that? I think I can confidently guess “next to no-one”.
So, the paradigm we’re on, in the modern day, is no longer that of survival. Now we want to thrive. Survival has already been achieved. In fact, there are far too many people in the world. We’re no longer outnumbered by big scary predators. It’s our responsibility to stop, breathe, and think twice before impulsively listening to the “monkey brain”.
Let’s try to build a world where we aim at thriving, and not just surviving? Because the way things are, with most people largely dissatisfied (for good reason!), it will be pretty damn hard to move on to a focus on protecting the health of our planet and ecosystems and all that jazz. First AND FOREMOST we must stop dehumanising each other, and start giving each other some goddamn overdue dignity. Just dignity! No need to shoot for the moon. Only the basics. I promise, there IS already enough of it.
