I have oracle problems.
Or in other words: 4 reasons why I’m a Buddhist.
This is a lighthearted article. Enjoy, and feel free to tell me if you relate.
Some people are born with oracular potential. I’m one of them. I’ve gotten all sorts of amusing reactions from random people I talk to, and I’m not gonna lie, the amusement plays a big role in my decision to keep telling them: Some laugh; Other ones get excited and ask if I offer readings (not yet! But I’ll keep you in mind). Some people get hilariously envious (and it’s even funnier when they try to hide it — which they totally do). Some people raise an eyebrow and tell me they’re atheist, and in this group there’s usually two crowds: the one that starts avoiding me, and the one that seems 100% unphased and starts asking me questions about my journey “for fiction” (why are my sceptical friends all fiction writers? Should I worry? Lol). And there are of course the fundamentalist Christian, Muslim and [insert Abrahamic faith here] whom I don’t tell because wtf, I’m not a masochist.
Long story short: “I’m an oracle” or “I see the future” is the kind of statement that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed.
The thing is… the journey of embracing and honing the curse/gift isn’t all roses. It’s more thorns than roses, if I’m being honest. Throw in a couple of tics and bugs of every kind. It ain’t comfortable.
Therefore, I came up with a list of random problems that being an oracle sort of “unlocks” for you, as if the normal problems of living in this world as a human being weren’t enough — in no particular order. Enjoy!
Believing in people’s future potential a bit too much.
I need to tone it down.
I’m sure average folks also go through this — or, to be precise, something similar but not the exact same. It’s not weird or unusual at all to idealise people when you should actually also pay attention to their dark side, yeah I get that.
I’m talking about this, but taken to a whole new level: believing in people’s potential AS IF it had already born fruit BECAUSE you see it in their future. Literally. Like a movie.
At first sight, you may go like, “wait a second. Isn’t it a good thing”?
No. No, it’s not. Run! Run to the hills!
The reason being: it leads both the oracle, and the observed person, to put the cart before the horses. Why wouldn’t you? There’s a cheerleader (the foolish oracle acting like a clown. It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem it’s me) making you overly hopeful about a result before you actually go through the necessary process to get there. I mean, yes, it is there, somewhere in your future — but it takes work, ya know? Life isn’t deterministic.
Mistaking future for present (because you’re seeing it too much) is like unlocking a whole new level of daydreaming and needing to come back to the present. Thank god for meditation and mindfulness!
So, I’ve gotten used to, for example, allowing a bad mentor/counsellor/psychologist to give me the below-average advice they feel like giving me, and just nodding and pretending I’m not seeing that in the future they’ll be SO MUCH BETTER at the job, come on, you’re capable of more-
*Deep breathing*
Lucy, calm down. They’ll get there eventually. You won’t be there to see it because you will have moved on and found a better professional IN THE NOW.
Phew.
It’s getting easier, gradually.
Accidentally lovebombing and changing deep friendships’ fate for the worse.
It’s like an addiction or something.
Uhhhhh this one is hard to admit and even harder to talk about.
I know, I know, there’s a good bunch of loneliness and longing for closeness in the mix too — both very mundane reasons for doing what I do.
…But there’s ALSO the seer side-effect. Namely, getting overly excited about a super happy future and making the dumb decision to try and accelerate its unfolding.
I know what you’re thinking. NO. This is never deliberate. Get that hypothesis off your mind, please.
It’s innocent. I don’t calculate it. I do it on autopilot because seeing futures comes so naturally to me, it inspires autopiloting in response. Besides, if I were a manipulator, wouldn’t it be more logical to “lovebomb on purpose” the people I see often? There are a lot of casual acquaintances I’ve known for years, whom I have a good connection with and see out and about all the time — and yet, I KNOW that they’re not kindred spirits. It’s not written in the future anyhow. We could become somewhat close, but I don’t think much about it.
One interesting proof that this is in fact about future developments is… Some people have reconnected with me, AND NOW THEY HAVE the maturity, life experience, ego problems already resolved, etc, to make a genuinely strong connection possible — but I’ve learned my lesson and I’m no longer forcing anything. I’ll just wait for things to unfold.
In short: it’s kind of hard to be patient when you’re an oracle. Thankfully, Buddhism helps me with finding my emotional centre and controlling my emotions rather than being controlled by them.
Anxiety about disasters, years before they happen.
Obsessive fixations! I repeat, obsessive fixations! I have a deal here, 2 for the price of 1 while the stocks last!
Pro tip: if you know an oracle, and she’s obsessively fixating on something, pay attention and go prepare for the same thing. (Unless it’s, like, a small personal problem of hers to do with family or something contained. But if it’s bigger, like a natural disaster or accident or crisis, pay attention).
I have several examples of this but I want to keep the article short (feel free to ask for more in the comments if you fancy that).
The first one was, of course, back when I was still planning to move country from my birthplace to Ireland, I was literally like “oh crap. There are two more years to finish this college course I’m doing” — then immediately, “actually, that’s perfect. In fact I’ll wait 3. That’s when the crisis will happen, euro will get a lot cheaper, and I can move with more room for emergencies”.
The second is a lot more recent, back when I got this sudden URGE to learn harp — out of nowhere — just a short time after Covid restrictions were lifted. What my oracle instinct was telling me was sort of cryptic; Something to do with needing to learn a gentle instrument I can practise at home and keep as a hobby even if I’m all alone. I did NOT interpret this accurately, I thought it was about Covid, and perhaps I was predicting a next wave of the pandemic or even something worse… But nope. I was predicting my husband’s accident. A year later he fell off a bike, hit his head, spent a good while in the hospital and guess who provided him music therapy because it can help with reversing partial amnesia? Me. (I did also predict the exact day of the accident, a lot nearer to when it happened, but that’s a story for another time).
So, this side-effect is useful, especially if you look at it as an outsider. But AS AN INSIDER, LET ME TELL YOU it’s no fun when the feeling of despair and urgency comes and just won’t go away for years. You don’t want that. Trust me. That’s why it’s so good for me to be able to take a step back and look at things from a wider, more detached perspective. Guess what’s helping? Meditation.
Pains and aches that won’t go away with regular medicine.
Confusing my doctor is my favourite sport, apparently.
Important forewarning: this is NOT an anti-Science statement or anything of that sort. I have successfully been treated for the same exact conditions with good old medical care without a problem many times. I recommend it, regardless of what your faith is or what you practise spiritually. DO NOT be a Science denier, that’s dangerous and irresponsible.
When I say pains and aches that won’t go away with regular medicine, what I mean is there are OCCASIONS when they come from… whatever my brain has that helps me be an oracle. If and when the same exact ailments happen outside of these occasions, I just go look for medical treatment. That just means it’s a mundane counterpart and DOES respond to regular treatment without reocurring.
I won’t go into detail now, but there are times of the month (nope, it’s disconnected from menstruation, it’s another thing entirely) when I become sensitive. And what I do to address the sensitivity (or its root cause, I mean) is retreat to a quiet dark place, have laurel tea and massage certain areas of my head for a while — then just take it easy during the rest of the day and avoid too much sun. Sometimes I do that as a preventive measure and indeed the discomfort doesn’t come. It works because perhaps I’m addressing the root cause, instead of just taking meds that would only address symptoms — unless, as I said, I am in fact under the weather and it has nothing to do with oracle (in that case, it’s mundane).
Obviously, in order to learn the above, I needed to first learn how to be okay with retreating. Mindfulness helps.
In conclusion: oracle “powers” are no fun.
They can be useful (hey, we’re a resourceful species! I’m sure you learned to live with your own body’s responses to things by now, too)… but they’re far from what people probably imagine or fantasise.
I’m a lot like a breathing, walking, meteorological balloon. It may look like I receive privileged input when in fact I’m just sensing what’s available to everybody but on a deeper level. I’m sensitive, not fragile.
I think it’s a bit dumb to go like “oooohh how special” when faced with this information, because it’s sort of like fawning over someone who is autistic or bipolar. You just can’t see why I categorise both together, because Science hasn’t studied whatever I have well enough… So it sounds like mysticism. (Well… to be fair, thank god for mysticism. I learned a bunch about how to cope from information preserved by mystics).
Regardless, though — if you decide to ignore this conclusion and fawn over me anyway, feel free, lol. I’m here for entertainment too, after all.
