If you think people “wouldn’t understand” your path, chances are it’s bad for you.
An article for occultists and other people who embrace alternative spirituality.
First, some caveats are needed:
This article is NOT meant for you IF:
a) You live in a Theocracy (for example, a place where Sharia law is in force). If you live in any of those countries, first of all, be careful what you read online? I’m surprised you found my blog? I hope you’re okay? Secondly: I am obviously NOT talking about you here. People who live in theocratic countries often have no choice but to adhere to the national religion. I understand that, and I wish religious freedom was a thing everywhere, but alas it isn’t. Obviously, in that case, if you were to pursue *just about anything* that isn’t your national religion, nobody around you would understand that, and you probably could even be in danger for doing so. That’s not a reflection on the nature of the path you chose, it just means that unfortunately you’re not free to choose your religion.
b) Similarly to (a), if you were brought up and still live in a cult. The west is full of closed communities that turn out to be very authoritarian and repressive. Living in these communities can be as bas as living under Sharia law (or sometimes, even worse). Every now and then, documentaries pop up about them. Obviously, I am not talking about those who unfortunately are born and brought up in these settings. Yes, indeed, when you’re in a super authoritarian cult, chances are your whole family and close circles are in the same cult, so nobody would understand your choice to do differently. That doesn’t automatically mean you’re choosing a bad path.
Have you read the caveats? Good. Thank you. So if you DON’T fit into (a) or (b), this article IS for you.
Please note that I’m not referring to the fact, sometimes, SPECIFIC PEOPLE don’t understand our choices. That’s a fact of life. It’s always best to hide your path from these few people, and only share it with real friends. This goes without saying. You’re not going to please everyone. That’s normal.
Instead, what I set out to discuss here is a different kind of phenomenon: people who claim they can’t tell ANYBODY AT ALL in their vicinity about what it is they really do spiritually (hence the important caveats). Are you one of these people? No? Then, don’t feel attacked by me here. You’re ok.
Look, I have seen some shit. Nothing here is being taken out my arse, rest assured. The examples of this problem are abundant: Overzealous godspouses who think they have “spirit babies”; Violent white supremacists who claim to be following orders they hallucinated and never bothered to fact-check; Lunatics claiming to be the reincarnation of pharaohs; Narcissists who just go ahead and say they ARE gods… And even idiots who try to enslave spirits. What do they have in common? Eh, hardly anything. No, actually, there is ONE thing they all have in common: they have all, without exception, at some point expressed to me that “people can’t know” about their path because they “wouldn’t understand”.
Well, mr (or mrs, or your preferred pronoun)… IT’S NO WONDER “people wouldn’t understand”. When you get to THAT point, you’re unhealthy at least (and dangerous to others at worst. I think the white supremacists are the only “dangerous to others” in my list, but you get the idea).
Maybe I give off the impression that I am way too open-minded, gullible, permissive, or all of the alternatives; But let me get real with you now: I’m not. It’s just an impression, rest assured. It probably comes from the fact I have no idea how to react to those people. Honestly. I don’t have the ability to react to them, so I just don’t. I sit there and listen. How WOULD you even react? How do you even begin to process that level of delusion?
There are times when it takes me MONTHS to come to the realisation that “yes, I really heard that. Oh my god, I really heard that”. So I decided to make this post, for lurkers who think I have no moral compass just because I don’t jump to conclusions and judgements at the snap of a finger. Yes, I take my time, but I get there. No, I’m not being fake, I just want to make full sure my final judgement is fair. It takes time. But if you care to read my articles, you can probably see a pattern in my words regarding which things are off limits with me, and which are okay to talk about. There’s no need to agree, all I ask is “please read some of my stuff before approaching me”. It’s basic courtesy, like doing your homework. Granted: some of the people I linked to this blog also went on a rabbit hole trying to “dig up” older information about me (perhaps trying to find drama and cancel me? Because some are jealous of me and others are butthurt at things I said? I don’t get it?), but it’s a risk worth taking. I want people to be on the same page with me.
On that note, I am not trying to take anyone’s freedom away. Not at all. I’m merely saying I disapprove of some paths, but that’s just my opinion. I don’t want to exterminate you just because I dislike what you do. I keep saying “you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink”. I mean it. If I wanted to enforce the law, I’d have become a cop. All I do is give oracles to the people who look for that, I’m not a law enforcer by any stretch of the imagination. So, don’t worry, I defend your right to exist. You’re free to do what you want regardless of what I think of it. You’re also free to opt out of my blog anytime. All I ask is please, if you practise the things I disapprove, don’t come talking to me and looking for validation. My validation is not up for grabs. I can decide my own preference without anyone’s “help”, thanks very much.
“Lucy, are you saying everything about my path should be vanilla?”, I bet some people are wondering.
Well, first of all, no, I’m not saying you “should” anything. Re-read the paragraph above if you haven’t.
Christianity (one of the major religions, as of writing this article) has “weird” mysteries too. Ever heard of Communion? It doesn’t take a genius to compare it to cannibalism — even if just metaphoric. And I don’t disapprove of it, I can see the value of it for Christians and it’s okay to exist.
You know what WOULDN’T be so okay, though? If the Communion was the meat-and-potatoes of Christianity. If this ritual was the only thing the entire religion revolved around, then yes, it would be a reason for concern (like “hi, yes, my entire religion is about metaphorically consuming Jesus Christ because it helps me get closer to him”. Sounds crazy and self-aggrandising, doesn’t it?). But luckily, Christians know better, so they don’t think that. Now, back to reality: this ritual is an ok thing. It just sort of exists WITHIN the religion, and to be fair, not every Christian even has to participate in it. You don’t stop being Christian if you don’t do Communion. Also, it’s only a thing in Catholicism. There are entire Protestant churches that go without it. (And again, I don’t dislike Communion. It really is okay. I’m just using it as a comparison here, to show you how mysteries are okay if they’re just within a religion, and not the be-all-end-all of the religion).
Or, to summarise: the problem is not the thing. The problem is obsessing over the thing. Especially so if it’s a niche mystery.
The reason certain mystics out there think I’m attacking them when I say these things, is they’re unwilling to look within and see their own ugliness. Yes, sure, always easier to point fingers at others. “Oh, look, Lucy is hateful”. Am I though? Or is that just a perception? I’m not hating on anyone’s existence. In fact, I’m not hating, period. I strive to be compassionate towards people. Maybe your definition of compassion is off; Because mine, I’m pretty sure, isn’t. Plenty generations of Buddhist scholars before me have been using it and doing just fine. I’m just following suit and doing the same:
I define compassion as the wish for another being to be free from suffering. As I said, it’s the same definition Buddhists use. You can disagree if you want, but not invalidate it.
Compassion is NOT enabling every animalesque impulse/extremism/obsession people have which often causes them to suffer (because of these excesses). That’d make me an accomplice. I wish for the unhealthy to get better. I don’t want them to STAY unhealthy, just so I don’t get to taint my immaculate image and become the “mean” person in their eyes. That’s what toddlers do, they call their caretakers “mean”. Are they always right, though? Even when the caretaker is actually good at the job (and not a narcissistic parent or some shit)? Do you think it’s still ok to call someone “mean” just because the person won’t enable your vices?
So… how would one potentially fix this mess?
I’ll repeat: only IF YOU CARE to address the problem. I’m not taking away anyone’s freedom to stay unhealthy if they choose that; But I’m not turning a blind eye to it either.
I’ll use some examples:
a) So, a godspouse believes she got pregnant and had a baby with some kind of spirit. Sure, that’s weird and unusual, but my problem with it isn’t the weirdness or oddity of the situation. My problem is what it means in practical terms; What it means for the person’s physical and mental health; What it means for this person’s community (if any), who might start romanticising the problem and nurturing the same belief. THESE problems are far more serious than, just, “oh, that’s odd, it’s out of the box, guess I’ll hate on it”. I’ve already written extensively on godspousing, and why I’m not against it in principle, but I dislike the idea of putting it at the forefront of anyone’s spiritual practice (Click here to read). Today, let’s talk about a very concrete consequence of getting into this practice “for the happy family fantasy” instead of for the purpose of energy work only (more constructive, in my opinion). When you get into it and take it LITERALLY, focusing on the infatuation, you might end up believing for real that this spirit/god/etc simply wants a family with you. I’m not here to dictate what you should believe. I don’t believe that, but maybe you do? And that’s fine? But tell me one thing now: IN PRACTICE, doesn’t this mean that deep down, very deep down, even if you won’t admit it… You secretly enjoy the thought of that? Because, let’s be real: if you DIDN’T, you’d just say “thanks but no thanks” to said spirit; Or something along the lines of “yea sure, you’re telling me we have a baby; Sorry, though, I’m made of flesh and bone and can’t cater to that. Call me after death and we’ll see about that”. Why are none of these godspouses talking about giving that sort of answer and making it DEFINITE? (Not just “oh, I tried saying no, but the spirit manipulated me…” — I call bullshit. When we don’t want it, we don’t want it. No means no, nobody goes like “oh but now I had a change of heart about my assaulter” — extreme example, I know, but it’s what I have today. No should also mean no in every context, even if everything was consensual and now it’s just a matter of “well, yeah, that’s nice, but NO. Please find a babysitter on your side of the veil, chap. I prefer to live the life I was given when I came to this planet as a flesh-and-bone human, not constantly escape from it”). Deep down, they LIKE the idea of missing out on real life events and stuff with real life people. Deep down, they have unresolved mental issues or trauma around the whole concept of family and friends, so they resort to wishing and fantasising about perfection with a spirit who is in principle “perfect”. That’s pretty clear to me. It’s a hard to swallow pill, but it’s needed.
b) Some deluded person thinks they’re the reincarnation of a pharaoh. Yes I’ve seen that one as well (and wish I could unsee it), specifically in 2019 when I accidentally joined a cult and not-so-accidentally helped dismantle it. Yes, I’ll have stories to tell my grandkids, lol. Back on topic: so, what’s up with people who think they deserve respect in this life because allegedly they used to be an authority in a past life? Well, it goes without saying, this is likely rooted in narcissism. More precisely, the personality disorder spectrum — creating a grandiose persona to hide insecurities. “Lucy, are you saying the belief in past lives is narcissistic?”, to which I’ll reply that “absolutely not”. I said it and I’ll say it again, I am no bigot. If you want to believe in the flying spaghetti monster, be my guest (and invite me over to have yummy pasta), I respect all beliefs as long as they’re not hateful. My problem is not with believing in a past life of yours. I’ll go even further and say I have no problem with people believing they were POWERFUL in a past life. Why would I invalidate that? It could be true. I don’t want the embarrassment of finding out I was wrong once I die, lol. My problem is, instead, with MAKING THE CONNECTION between “I was powerful in a past life”, THEREFORE “I deserve power now”. See where I’m getting? You could have been a three-legged-alien in a past life for all I care…. We’re living today. Now. Not in this past you refer to. And yes, believe it or not, it IS possible to nurture a belief in past lives only for the curiosity of it. There’s no need to bring those issues over to this life (and it’s never too late to stop doing that; here’s a self-roast, even though I don’t think I ever had power in my past lives. I guess I’m just eternally a peasant, lol). That person I met 4 years ago, specifically, used to say “oh but I don’t talk openly about it because nobody would understand. They’d think I want power. I don’t, though, I just casually found out about my past life”, bla bla, yadda yadda. Loads of words, but contradicted by their actions. “I don’t want power”, says the mouth; proceeds to lead a cult that promoted fearmongering around a political election, fundraising to go isolate in a closed community, etc. That’s cult leader behaviour. And cult leaders DO want power — even if they’re telling everyone, AND THEMSELVES TOO, that they don’t.
Can you see from the examples above, how those people put a very niche mystery at the forefront of their entire practice? Can you see how dangerous that is, and WHY mysteries are kept from most people in just about any religion? It’s not just a matter of “knowledge-is-power”. Stop mentally repeating that saying like a parrot, it does not apply in EVERY scenario. Here, in the context of religious mysteries, it’s more fitting to say “knowledge is a burden”. A burden! It’s not even a responsibility, in and of itself. It weighs down on you and it takes a lot of effort to keep, because there’s a very fine line between using a mystery productively VS indulging in some kind of instinctive impulse that sprouts from it and teases you… Eternally, until the day you die.
I tried raising awareness about that, but got basically massacred in online forums because people assumed I was just being smug about “muh secrets”. Not really, no. I just wish there was a way to show people that it’s dangerous to glamourise the occult. It’s dangerous to WANT it for identity purposes or some other superficial reason, and it’s dangerous to keep perpetuating the idea that “keeping mysteries” makes you “cool” or some shit. Sure, by all means, participate in it if you want. But join in search of personal development; NOT as a means to fill in a hole in your life (a “hole” from lack of confidence/power, lack of love/relationships, and so on). And yes, it is PERSONAL development. It is INDIVIDUAL and SELF-FOCUSED. Stop fooling yourself into thinking you can join some mystery tradition “in service of others” because I’m pretty sure that’s the same lie cult leaders tell themselves. It’s very easy to fool yourself that way, put a mask of “charitable worker” on top of a REAL face that reeks of a need for validation (yes, even if that validation is pity for how much you suffer, or attention for the drama you’re in, or whatever negative. That’s still validation).
Hence, I’ll repeat: if you want to dive deeper than most people into a religion or other spiritual pursuit, do it FOR YOURSELF. I know superficially it sounds selfish, but it really isn’t. It follows the same principle flight attendants love reminding us about: honey, it doesn’t matter how selfless you think you’re being; put on your own oxygen mask first. You can’t assist somebody else if you’re asphyxiated.
Ultimately, some mysteries do lead to working in service of others. Sure, why not. But it shouldn’t be your initial goal with it, is what I’m saying. If you were already capable of assisting others in the very beginning of your path, why bother walking tha path at all?