Lunar people are a bit pushy.
I’m writing here in my capacity as mystic and “woo” blogger. Hence, I reserve the right to categorise people however the hell I want. I never said this article was coming from a scientific place, and my [real] followers probably already know that when there’s science in one of my articles, I always mention that before I even start speaking.
Another important caveat is the fact I tend to exaggerate things in my articles. Not everybody understands that, and some get mad at me for doing that, so I’ll explain what I mean with it: yes, it’s on purpose. I criticise caricatures of the REAL phenomena that bother me in the world because, if I were to go for the real (more nuanced) shit, people would feel targetted. So, if you identify with the “lunar” thing and are ready to comment saying my portrayal is incomplete or not good enough, spare yourself the trouble. Yes, it is incomplete. That’s the whole point. There’s more to you than the thing I’m apparently criticising. I already have reasons to like you and approve of you from the get-go, even if this “criticism” resonates because both things can be true at once. Relax.
But what do I know? Maybe certain people are so PUSHY that they can’t hold themselves back from trying to PUSH me to say “you know what? I was wrong. How dare I express dissatisfaction. I’m being unfair, I should just shut up and thank the heavens for the unsolicited thing I’m getting”.
I like making sure myself and the reader are on the same page. So, if you’re atheist and sceptic, you’ll like some of my articles; if you’re part of the “woo” crowd, you’ll like other articles of mine. Nobody gets manipulated or forced to cross a line they’re not ready to cross. Ya know… I’m not PUSHY.
So with that out of the way, on to the completely subjective and not pretentious at all opinion piece:
You probably have other names for the kind of personality I’m talking about, but I’ll use Lunar here because it’s neutral and won’t get me cancelled.
…After all, there’s nothing “socially mistreated” about the moon. It’s just there in the sky. It’s part of life and we all embrace it as such. So you can’t accuse me of being evil or oppressive for using this metaphor here. You can dislike it, and call me a bitch, but you can’t guilt and shame me into silence. I mean, you can; Go ahead and try. It won’t work. I’m simply warning.
Can you see where I’m going with the “pushy” problem? Lunar people frame it as being proactive and helpful, when in fact there’s no saying “no”. So that’s not exactly proactivity… More like a hostage situation.
It’s as though they were saying “Do as I say or I’ll be a big nuisance until you get tired of fighting back and do as I say. As it should have been from the start”, and somehow thought it was an ok thing to say. Am I alone in thinking it’s… a bit unhealthy?
They criticise the Solar (like me) for sometimes being too authoritarian, and that’s fair enough, but… Mirrors are a funny thing. Don’t we both have the same flaw? I mean, if I don’t control my impulses, I become tyrannical and intimidate people into complying with me; On the other hand, the lunar are far from authoritarian, oh no, in fact they’re nice and sweet. But if they don’t control their impulses, they can become emotionally manipulative, underhanded, covertly getting people to comply with them. I mean… That’s 2 sides of the same coin, eh? No wonder sun and moon are connected (one reflects the other’s light). So if you’re Lunar, before you get mad at me here, please take a good look at the mirror and be 100% honest with yourself. The thing you dislike in me can also be found in that reflection. You approach it differently, but it’s the same thing. And I’m not saying it’s a good thing. We can AND SHOULD both work on it.
Shoot the messenger by all means. You can’t unsee the message, though.
Well, in all honesty, you don’t need to keep focusing on a message you’re not yet ready to take in. Nobody needs to. The “close tab” button is up there and you can click on it anytime.
But consent doesn’t count when you’re looking after a fragile helpless thing.
Aye aye captain. Agreed… As long as what you have within the careful embrace of your nurturing arms is IN FACT small, helpless, defenseless and clueless.
Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it could be a wishful thought, and a sprinkle of objectivity is perhaps in order. There’s no need for completely shattering a dream or force-confronting a reality that looks too daunting. No, not at all. That’s unnecessary. I said just a sprinkle. A tiny, harmless dash of reality could be needed there. It’s worth considering.
Before anyone gets too worked up at me for calling them delulu (high five if you got that reference. I love her videos!), here’s a self-roast to balance things out: I have the opposite problem. I often find myself too immersed in the cold hard reality, and a sprinkle of imagination would help me a bunch. Side-eyeing my frustrations with even the most basic and survivalist forms of creativity.
I mean, what can I say… We all need to dream! Ain’t nobody made of steel.
The thing is, we all also need balance in all aspects of life. Even with the things that, on the surface, seem so good and moral — such as caretaking. Or else, one could end up focusing far too much on caring for an individual who, in all fairness, is “pretty good to go, thank you very much?”; And as a result, unwittingly forget to redirect this energy into another individual who TRULY needs it. Because, let me be honest here: if this caretaker shoe fits, you probably already care for a bunch of people and beings of all sorts. And chances are, most of them truly needed it. If after all that, you still have time and energy to give (impressive! And well done!), before adopting another — especially if this “another” seems resistant — think long and hard about whether or not it’s needed.
I know, I know… It can be very tempting to view this new potential protectee like you view a cute little stray animal you’re trying to rescue: they’re usually resistant too, but it’s only because of fear, right? Deep down they need the rescuing, right? You’re already equipped for looking after it and your assumptions are 100% right upon first seeing this animal, right?
Wrong. Sorry… I’ve got to say it.
Countless people rescue animals they think are one species when in fact they’re another. But, ya know, all cubs kind of look similar. Shall I remind you of the couple who adopted a bear? Very kind and well-intentioned, but ultimately wrong — it wasn’t a dog. They weren’t equipped for it. It happens. It’s not the end of the world. Their inability to raise a bear is no reflection on how good, kind and loving they are as dog owners. Life goes on.
Take the above as metaphorically as you need.
The problem is insisting on a mistake — or worse, flipping the narrative so that the protectee looks bad for rejecting the protection — just in order to stay proud and escape admitting the mistake.
Ya know? Whatever. I don’t need to hear anyone admitting a mistake. I just hope they do so internally, to themselves. That’s the only important bit. Nobody owes me satisfaction.
“This is just teen angst. I’ll keep insisting because the teen knows nothing. I know what’s best”.
Hands up who is guilty of thinking that — or at least similar.
First of all: is the teen YOUR child? If so, fair enough, it’s your right to try and care for them. If not, though… *sigh* Let’s calm down and deal with the feelings of failure for a bit? Come here, take my hand. You can do it. You can overcome this feeling without insisting on the situation that is going nowhere. I believe in you.
If you found the above patronising, well… Again. Take a good look in the mirror. My rough edges do not justify yours.
You see, this article is not about parent vs child conflicts. If it was, I would have titled it “dear parents, please read this”. Did I? No. The title is “Lunar people are a bit pushy”. That’s precisely because I’m talking about a personality trait. People can have it without necessarily having children of their own. And dare I say, most people I encountered who have it, DO NOT have children of their own, and are not even dealing with real teens — they’re looking at a fully grown adult and seeing “teen angst”. (It can have another, more dignified name, ya know? But I’ll let you figure it out on your own).
Here’s the thing: is that judgement necessarily wrong? No. By no means. Teens have angst, and so do adults who haven’t fully grown up “in the inside”. Totally. But is it anyone’s place to keep pushing protection onto someone who doesn’t consent and is big enough to survive on their own? Especially if it’s not a child you’re legally responsible for?
You’d think, maybe, this entire article is “because Lunar people see I’m not super headstrong about my likes and dislikes, and keep trying to care for me against my consent”. But no. That’s not always the case. Sometimes, I’m simply talking to a Lunar person (I attract them like a magnet. Go figure), and they’re talking about a situation and trying to get me to agree with them or side with them but… I can’t. Sorry. I see through the pushy behavior. I don’t like pushy behavior. I will never pretend to like pushy behavior. Deal with it.
Look… It’s not that I don’t agree with these people on the definition of “care” or the definition of “comfort” or “creating the ideal circumstances” or whatever. I do. Wholeheartedly. I’m not disagreeing with them because I somehow think I’m better at providing even MORE ideal, MORE comfortable or MORE safe circumstances for their protectees. No, not at all. I’m gonna go ahead and validate what they’re already doing: well done.
I disagree with them for a different reason — I think, crazy as it sounds, that everybody should experience less than ideal circumstances once in a while. Less than ideal comfort. Less than ideal protection. A little dirt is character-building, ya know? A little danger here and there. A little punishment from life for stepping out of line.
How can you truly learn the value of cozy when you’ve never experienced the cold? How can you value all the work and energy that goes into the “ideal circumstances” if you’re not allowed to go near its opposite? This is the lesson every teenager is desperately trying to teach the adults in their lives, even if they are THEMSELVES oblivious to this fact.
This is where I differ from Lunar people or even the Lunar gods and goddesses who embody this tendency I’m talking about — try as they may, they’ll never fully change the fact that nature is also… Pretty merciless. I’m sorry, but… One day you’re predator, the next you’re prey. One day you have comfort and shelter, the other you’re wounded and cold and bleeding and exposed to the elements.
No amount of daydreaming will ensure anyone’s survival in a harsh environment unless their resourcefulness goes beyond the imagination and also involves tangible tricks up their sleeves. So called street smarts comes from (who would have thought?) having been to the streets in the first place.
Love it or hate it, we all have evolved to be pretty sturdy. Sturdier than we think. Yes, even you (in case you assume you’re fragile or unprepared for some reason). Even people with disabilities and all sorts of problems. Survival is in our DNA. It isn’t by chance that we are here, having endured living in caves and hiding from big cats, crocodiles, mammoths.
I mean… sure, comfort is nice and providing it shows you care and love the people in your life. I’m giving you this lecture, but I don’t want anyone to become cold and heartless like certain branches of the far-right. All I want is for people to keep in mind that if others are taking your love and care for granted… Well… Perhaps there is a reason why?