We need to talk about possession: debunking 7 myths.
It’s Scorpio season, after all. Let’s discuss a big taboo.
18+
Another deep, deep dive.
Possession is commonly mistaken for things like: dissociative disorders (which also exist), trance (a different legit thing), channeling (a can of worms on its own, but legit), intuition (not even close, but also legit), godspousing (a modern invention people are trying to pass off as something pseudo-ancient by cherrypicking and “reaching far” into traditional wisdom disingenuously) among other phenomena… To say possession, and all its tangential phenomena, get misunderstood in the Occultist community is a big understatement.
I mean, we know “the normies” misunderstand it by default. But that’s not surprising or outrageous at all. They’re under no obligation to understand it. This article is aimed at non-mainstream spiritual practitioners, whatever label you chose for yourself is irrelevant here (you guys know who you are).
The most common misunderstanding, for no-one’s surprise I’m sure, is the assumption that A) possession is “always good, safe and harmless”, or B) it’s “always bad, dangerous and harmful”. Do I even need to say it? Okay, I will, just for peace of mind: both are wrong.
So, leave your black-and-white-thinking at the door, and join me for the rest of this article if you feel like it.
Full disclosure: my theoretical basis for this conversation comes from a mix of sources I’ve been in direct contact with for a long time and know practitioners to this day. First, Afro-diasporic religions (particularly Palo, Umbanda and Candomble) and on the other side, surprisingly or not, Hellenism. That’s not to say there aren’t other traditions worldwide which deal with possession and have theorised about it, but I’m not familiar with most and will leave them out because I don’t appropriate. Another helpful caveat is the fact I can only speak in general terms about this phenomenon, since I’m not interested in discussing closed practices or other practices that require a high level of maturity and level-headedness to discuss, out in the open like this (and nobody should be. FYI. Please stop oversharing for the sake of “coolness”). I’m talking about the natural human predisposition here and what its implications may be. This is not an ethnocentric article.
My motivation for writing this article is the fact certain people are born more or less susceptible to this phenomenon, so it’s not something that can happen across the board with the same intensity. And although mainstream culture hasn’t embraced it — which is why you’ll only find it in a few select religions — nature doesn’t care about human politics. Safety should be everyone’s right. Maybe you are one of those who are sensitive to possession, but you happen to be from a culture where it’s taboo. That’s why I even bother speaking about it here. But regardless of what you’re going to read, I NEED you to exercise discernment to the best of your ability and avoid automatic conclusions at all costs. This is not a buzzfeed quiz, for heaven’s sake! I’m simply here to help some people make sense of unpleasant things that might happen to them.
First of all: regardless of which dogma you’ve been exposed to, NOBODY should be blamed or shamed for getting possessed. Nobody. Ever.
Let’s stop dehumanising human beings. We’re all human beings. I don’t care if you’re close-minded to the “weirdos”, they’re human too. If you can’t offer basic empathy, you are the problem. We can fight and call each other out, but I draw the line at discrimination based on things we can’t control.
This is one of the instances where outsiders to Occultism get it right, and a lot of actual Occultists are mistaken: possession is largely involuntary. You can manage it voluntarily, but you don’t control whether or not (or when) it happens all on your own. Therefore, yes, people can be victims to it, and no, it has nothing to do with “how high they’re vibrating” or some other newage mumbo-jumbo. Stop blame-shifting.
So, with that out of the way, on to…
What possession feels like, common symptoms, how it unfolds, and what (not) to do:
First of all, this should go without saying, but I’m saying it anyway: DO NOT conclude anything before exhausting the possibilities that it could be medical and treatable. A lot of things can be mistaken with possession, ranging from schizophrenia (if you don’t like the idea of possession) to wishful thinking (if you do). Don’t underestimate your mind’s ability to play tricks on you, and if you’re an Occultist, don’t be “wanting” it in case you weren’t born with the curse. Don’t take it for granted either, I don’t care how many times you were successful managing it or how experienced you are, you’re never immune to mistaking it for a fear or a wish.
Besides, repeat with me: ✨ 💖 doctors are our friends 💖 ✨. Humanity wouldn’t even have come this far if it wasn’t for advances in medicine. Let’s get checked-up as often as we can.
Now that we have (hopefully) clarified that what I’m saying in this article should always be a last resort, on to traditional symptoms of possession:
- There’s no dissociation. (More on that in myth #1). It’s just a case of somebody else “joining the call”.
- It’s very common to report a sensation as if you got struck by lightning, prior to this other person coming, except it’s painless. Very hard to describe but that’s what it usually is described as, to varying degrees of intensity.
- Nausea, dizzy feeling which subsides completely in a few seconds if you don’t panic. If you do panic you might end up vomiting (and not allowing the spirit in, but ya know, it’s not the healthiest prevention method long term).
- A request for communication (this is clear and leaves no doubt, so I won’t explain exactly how. It can vary anyway) — particularly if the spirit/being/whatever has good intentions, this will happen. You can say “no” and feel nothing else, or say “yes” and go through it (or “later”).
- Communication, either with a voice or through non-verbal means that you somehow “get” with ease anyway. If there was no prior request, the same spirit is very unlikely to return (which is one of the clues to distinguish it from schizophrenia but this is NOT fool-proof, do get checked), unless you expressly agreed, invited it, and performed a ritual the way you’re taught (by insert tradition here). During this phase, traditionally we test it, and each culture will have their own guidelines — that’s one of the subjects I won’t discuss in the open. Testing means, basically, verifying if no semblance of wishful thinking or fear remains, and it really is someone external.
- Exhaustion prior to it and feeling more energised after it’s gone (if the being who communicated is neutral OR a helpful influence), or exhaustion that stays/ gets worse (if they want to drain you). The exhaustion that happens prior and goes away is simply your body’s response to a “foreign material”, initially warding it off. Especially common in beginners or untrained mediums. It’s not draining per se. Pay more attention to how you feel AFTER.
Non-possession symptoms that someone who gets possessed might also be prone to (aka, spirit is near).
- Weird specific cravings that are unlike you to have. Someone who hates a drink suddenly craving it, getting it, drinking it and enjoying it like the most delicious thing in the world, for example. (In a normal day, of course. Not dying of thirst lol).
- Intrusive thoughts you wouldn’t normally have. This is not a paranoia (which is a thing people DO normally have, even though they don’t like admitting. Welcome to the “sudden negativity” club, lol. We’re all guilty). Instead, I’m talking about intrusive thoughts that have NO REASON to be. Neutral and positive ones that seem to relate to someone else’s life you haven’t yet heard of, for instance. Some people even get them in a language they can’t speak! (Especially if travelling).
- Intrusive feelings aimed at you, which take some persistence to get rid of but you intuitively “somehow know” they’re invasive — this one is harder to discern, as it will seem like they’re yours at first because they CAN be intense.
- Dreaming (the night before) of visiting places you’ve never been to, had no prior interest in, never heard of, have no idea where they are (or just a vague idea depending on how worldly you are)… And “coincidentally” (#not) have everything to do with the spirit/god/etc who wants to talk.
- Feeling the same way other people around you feel, even before you focus your eyes on them or say hi to them. Fun fact: if you’re prone to possession, you’re also prone to “take in” what others are feeling, regardless of the quality of this feeling. But since they’re not actively trying to possess you (Lol, they can’t, they’re not dead), it’s super quick to rid yourself of that just by thinking “this isn’t mine, I let it go”. Some people develop the habit of doing that automatically, and end up finding out that a lot of the times, the feeling was indeed theirs (which is why it DIDN’T go away with a simple command), but it’s always good practice anyway.
- “Curses” and jinxes sent to someone else who happens to be standing near you. This is THE MOST ANNOYING but it happens. I’m not talking about witchcraft, specifically. It can be as simple as, say, “this stranger near me has an enemy who saw them across the street and mentally felt annoyed at their sight”. This in itself already is an energy attack, although mild. If you’ve been nodding so far, honey, you’re a bit of a sponge. Admit it. It’s ok. You can simply reject erratic energy by acknowledging it’s not yours and it will go away. It will only stick if you identify with it. Don’t. If in doubt, always think — and FEEL — “this isn’t mine”.
An important note on this last one: do NOT be fooled by your empathy (which is a human capacity, it’s not just for mediums, everyone has it). In case you sensed someone else is feeling down, don’t go playing hero. Chances are you’ll make it worse, imagine the reverse: would YOU want a total stranger to approach you saying weirdly specific things? Even if you did get impressed, you’d also find them a creep. Remember: nobody is an island. You’re not seeing the full picture, maybe they’re already very supported and you don’t know. You’re not in this world to save everybody. (That’s your ego speaking, by the way. “Do-gooder” egos are still egos). Stick to the people you know, and stick to small talk with strangers. This is one of the important reasons why I think this article should exist (and therefore I’m writing it). Some people are mistaking a capacity for spiritual, uh, “absorption” with some kind of superhero instinct or premonition of a call of duty… When it’s not. They’re well-meaning, because they don’t know how some kinds of mediumship play out, and thus they conclude that anything and everything is a “sign from god” to go save someone when in fact it’s just a natural sense that doesn’t “care” about human morality and simply exists in you the same way the urge to go to the toilet or to have sex exists in you. I hope I demystified it somewhat.
On to common myths I’d like to debunk as a public service announcement. They go from mainstream and understandable to… Well… Let’s just say it gets progressively worse. Buckle up and feel free to clutch your pearls.
Myth #1 — possession somehow overrides someone’s identity.
No.
Nothing external can “replace” anyone’s sense of self to any extent*. That’s a fictional device to add drama and up the stakes in your favourite horror narratives, but leave it for books and the big screen. Real life possession is very, very far from that. And the reason is quite simple: when your soul leaves your body, that’s called death. As we know, death is irreversible. Death is not what we’re talking about today. (But let me know your requests in the comments!)
Possession is more like having a cohabitant temporarily. Whoever it is, human or not, can’t and won’t undermine anyone’s consciousness. It will just “add” its own in parallel — which can lead to panic, agitation, and all sorts of reactions, but you wouldn’t mistake it for “a replacement” of consciousness even if you tried. That’s basically what the phenomenon is, to put it in very simple terms.
When you hear about (or see — if you’re in one of the aforementioned religions) mediums being “controlled by” whoever possessed them, what you’re seeing is a collaborative work for a specific end. There are ways to train a medium so that the person will intentionally stay out of the way of the spirit in order not to interfere in the spirit’s intention with the message or ritual… But if they want to regain control at any stage for any reason, they can. Maybe not immediately, but they can. With or without the cohabitant still “in”. That’s because the body is primarily theirs. Simple as that. If it wasn’t, they’d be dead.
There are levels to the “slumber” a medium will put themselves in for a spirit to work undisturbed — depending on the tradition, it can vary from semi-conscious to fully unconscious — but just like sleeping, it’s a state you can get out of. I’ll repeat: if you couldn’t, you’d be dead.
In case the cohabitation thing feels confusing, (In this economy?! Kidding. Back on topic) — Let’s think of food. We eat all the time, don’t we? And yet, all food items are foreign objects. We can also accidentally “eat”, and we’ll probably cough and feel discomfort, but nobody would mistake it for “a food item taking over someone”. Unless it’s a tabloid headline. But anyway… Possession is similar. Now, of course the analogy isn’t perfect, because in order to eat there’s a whole process of chewing and swallowing and whatnot… Whereas possession just sort of happens; But I hope I made it clearer nonetheless, it’s no “special” compared to other processes in nature.
Would I also compare it to a virus? Well… yes and no. Viruses can slowly debilitate or even kill us, and unwelcome possession can also be damaging to some extent, but the thing is, unless there’s some very elaborate ritual for that, it’s unlikely to stay very long. (ie, this very rare, if even possible, phenomenon, wouldn’t happen by accident). A spirit could come in repeatedly, many times over the span of days, but there usually isn’t a continuous occupation, if you get me. It takes a lot of energy for them, too, it’s not a walk in the park. And the ones who theoretically could have some ease, such as deities, don’t seem to ever want anything non-consensual anyway. So, no, it’s not parasitism. They’re already “beyond the veil” (or naturally immaterial, in case of gods and other creatures). Why would they want to act like parasites? Usually their intent is to experience our material kind of existence for a while, so the main interest isn’t in the body itself, or which body specifically.
“Lucy, are you saying exorcism is silly?”
No, I am not. Instead, I’m clarifying a misunderstanding. An exorcism can be required in order for someone to be left alone… Instead of, as horror films wrongfully imply, free them from a parasite. Think “restraining order on your annoying stalker”. The stalker is a problem, but no, he’s not a parasite. Or let’s hope not.
Is anyone reading for the free urban fantasy / sci-fi inspo? Gimme a high five ✋
*A necessary note to 1st paragraph here: nothing EXTERNAL can override anyone’s sense of self… But INTERNAL processes definitely can. That’s why dissociative disorders and personality disorders happen. But that’s going into Psychology and away from the main topic here.
Myth #2 — Anyone can “become capable” of receiving a spirit, god, etc.
This myth comes from Capitalism. Straight-up. I’m sorry to break it to you, but for all it’s worth, Capitalism and Communism have a lot more in common than their proponents were willing to admit. (#horseshoe theory, hi, how are ya). This happens quite a lot in History, doesn’t it? Two sides which regard themselves as total opposites waging war against each other without realising they’re actually at war against themselves because they’re unwilling to see the exact same shadow they’re condemning externally, they harbour inside. Individuals do this, but so do nations… Groups… Ideologies… It’s the famous “becoming exactly like the villain that once victimised you”. (This tangent may or may not be current affairs related, I’ll leave you to interpret that).
The point is: you can’t coerce anyone or anything into bringing you fairness.
That’s true first of all because who TF said your idea of fairness is THE one everyone should adopt? That’s a little self-centered, don’t you think? And second of all, coercion (or, ok, a more general term: “forcing” something to happen) doesn’t bring about cooperation. It just breeds resentment and revenge-plotting.
Maybe this is sounding too vague, but stick with me here. I said the above, because some people have a moralistic and romanticised idea of spirituality (based solely on THEIR individual morals and THER individual ideas of what is or isn’t romantic, of course). They think spirituality is where you’ll find a twee utopia with a state of continuous bliss and no more disappointment or uncomfortable feelings forever and ever. A Disney fairytale ending, if you will.
THAT is the mindset behind, “no, but everything and anything should be learneable by anyone, because if it isn’t, that’s not fair and the people who were left out will be sad. UWU”. Can you see how this logic is… A bit childish? There’s no shame, but it is, isn’t it? We shouldn’t ignore that.
I mean, you might as well go on a limb and say all animals should have tails or wings or night vision because otherwise “that’s not fair”.
Yeah, well, nature is not fair. Sorry. Let’s collectively get over it. Better yet: let’s learn to value what we DO have, and this will by extension cause us to stop coveting each other’s “greener grass”.
Myth #3 — You can’t get possessed by anything non-human because it wouldn’t “fit”.
AS IF the agents of possession had a material body. It’s very obvious that they don’t. I can’t for the life of me understand where this myth comes from, or why it’s so common, but it’s a myth. It’s wrong. I mean, with physical foreign objects, of course they can’t be “bigger” than you, but we’re not talking about anything physical here.
(The paragraph above… Was a choice. It goes downhill every time I try to make it family-friendly, LOL. I’m moving on).
Some of the “biggest” presences out there, such as deities, can in fact possess more than one person at a time. That’s exactly because they’re so much bigger than us. There are accounts, both Historical and contemporary, of this very phenomenon in many traditions. And if you’re still not convinced, just think of all the other things (processes in nature, etc) a deity would be simultaneously responsible for. Do these have to stop functioning around the world for a ritual that features possession to happen? No. All keeps going at once. So, no, a medium can’t and won’t entrap a deity [or insert being that is bigger than them]. It’s more like a very close communication through contact with a small part of this being, but both parties in it are still autonomous.
Dionysos, for example, was widely known in Antiquity for possessing multiple people at once via ecstatic dance — and this didn’t need any mind-altering substances, but sure, alcohol is under his domain too (and gives “regular people” a small glimpse into, uh, the tip of the iceberg? Of what it feels like to be possessed). In a totally unrelated culture, Yoruba religion accounts for the Orisa possessing, again, multiple people — and that’s not even for verbal communication, it’s with other ends. They aren’t technically gods, but everyone agrees they’re way way bigger than humans.
In a way, this comes in handy for bodily autonomy, too. The only spirits “small” enough to fully fill you up would be human spirits, and those are never strong enough to overpower anyone even if they do come in.
(Why does everything I say in this article sound naughty when I re-read it to edit? Is it just because I prefaced it with 18+? God damn it. I swear I’m a classy lady. I’m here drinking my tea).
Myth #4 — you can train yourself to “close off completely” if you’re prone to possession.
No, you can’t. What you can (and probably should) do is ward off the unwelcome entities that could possess you, be they human or not. But you can’t turn yourself into an incompatible body; Much the same way someone can alter their looks but can’t change their genetic code.
It’s also a good idea to avoid crowded places where people aren’t all being entertained (or schedule time after to unwind and cleanse your energy). I say “places where people aren’t all being entertained”, because an entertainer everyone is focused on tends to prevent energy chaos (ie, each person “in their head” worrying about different things) from forming in the first place. That’s why music concerts are surprisingly safe. So are sporting events, theatres, etc. This is, by the way, also the reason why religious temples are safe. It’s not “the aura”. Bitch, please. The amount of toxic people you find in religions is unreal… Lol It’s the “common entertainer” helping everyone behave. I mean, sure, your sensitivity will still be there, but at least you’re less likely to be in the company of people who lost control of their energy/focus (and therefore might attract nasty spirits for themselves and you… Except they don’t feel it. And you do).
Haunted places are another no-no. If you can’t avoid, DO account for recovery. There are mediums who actually enjoy these environments, precisely because of the spirits that can be contacted, and if that’s your thing, I won’t judge — but never go unprepared or without pretty good defenses. Don’t be naive, is all I’m saying.
This isn’t meant to make anyone paranoid. It’s simply a FYI on what to do prevention-wise (or at least, a helpful guide on why you’ve been feeling drained). Life isn’t always perfect and there are times when you can’t be where you want. That’s ok.
Myth #5 — you can use possession for your own gain.
I don’t just mean it in the sense of overt deception and blackmail — although, fair enough, it happens quite a lot in and out of traditional contexts.
I also mean things like…
- pretend to be with a spirit/god in order to lecture someone, make a request you’re too embarrassed to make conscious, or other kinds of manipulative tactics;
- avoid feeling alone during a situation that is stressful for you (such as social contexts, job interviews, and all sorts of high-stake context you can think of);
- impress friends, followers on social media, and other people.
- Schedule a time and a place where it will “most definitely” happen and people can count on it.
Etc.
It doesn’t matter how well-meaning it is, you can’t. First and foremost (unless you’re lying about it / deceiving), you’re not the one who gets to decide when and where it happens. I know traditions have rituals for that, but even during those, they send out an invite at best. It’s actually rather common for it not to result in anything. The being on the other side has free will. Gods can be especially fussy, they don’t care how many people are waiting, a “no” is a no.
Myth #6 — a spirit/god/etc will, uh, “come close” because they want to marry you.
No, Bella. He’s not your Edward. By the way, if you haven’t seen this linked video, you don’t know what you’re missing. ContraPoints’ only mistake was to be late with it, because I would have loved to send it to certain delusional people who think they’re wise but are in fact entranced by limerence for gods. We’re of course no longer talking.
Like Natalie says in the video, “wish fulfilment (…) All of the other girls are jealous of my cool boyfriend, so by association, I must be cool too. If you’re a Twilight reader and you identify with Bella, these are exciting fantasies to have, because they gratify what Freud called ‘his majesty the ego’”.
She continues later on with:
“This fantasy of being overpowered, or in bondage, or surrendering to a dominant lover is a very common fantasy for a lot of women, and also a lot of people who aren’t women”. In that case, the wish fulfilment can be found in the illusion of “no choice but to enjoy”, which puts a lot of people at ease because it transfers the blame for desire to this overpowering lover.
I love ContraPoints, lol. I swear, she reads my mind sometimes. I have, myself, had the aforementioned fantasies. And a majority of people, if they were honest with themselves, would say the same.
(I’m not, however, a fan of Twilight. I think I’ll never be.)
“The function of disavowal in fantasy is that you get what you want without the indignity of having to ask for it. Or even, against your will”. Something that I’m sure is “just coincidentally” similar to the whole concept of possession. But perhaps, it’s an experience a lot of people born-and-raised in the industrialised West have no frame of reference for, and therefore oversimplify to the point of ignoring key elements of it. That’s all fun and games until they start spreading misinformation and covertly inviting new people into this utter distortion of what could become a worthwhile spiritual pursuit… which instead became this egotistic game of “playing happy families” with gods and spirits as an excuse for escapism and spiritual bypassing. THAT IS WHY I’m talking about it here.
Worse: the amount of so-called “godspouses” who go on to develop chronic illnesses without a previous history of them in the family is concerning. Why could that be? Oh, I don’t know, let me guess… A constant habit (bordering on addiction) of expending energy in bed with themselves, more than their bodies can afford, under the illusion that the “partner” in question is even to blame (or present every time). Surely there are no physical signs of harm there, but energetically this can give rise to many problems over the long term.
It’s very naive of some people in Occultist communities to think that the one and only possible function of possession is verbal communication. Especially in closed practices all over the world, it can often take the shape of mentorship for energy work — for example, in practices where the concept of kundalini comes up… Which, again, is very easy to mistake for other kinds of fun. There are many many ways to awaken this kind of kundalini energy (which we all have, dormant in ourselves), including yoga and meditation. But possession can also trigger it, regardless of whether it’s accidental or not, and a lot of people should know that.
I’m not here to police anyone’s fun or shame anyone out of their individual practices, since they’re none of my business. I’m freely sharing advice — which of course you can take or leave — on how to stay safe. And most important of all, I’m offering complete beginners an alternative, so that they will know they can choose to take some things with a grain of salt because there IS an alternative explanation within spirituality itself. It doesn’t have to be the wish-fulfilment one.
Myth #7 — your everyday intuition is connected to the spirit/god/etc because you guys are pals anyway.
I left the best for last. This myth is not only ridiculous, but also potentially dangerous. It is what turns some well-intentioned mediums into authoritarian cult leaders with an inflated ego.
First of all, re-read #5.
Second of all… WTF. Even if you’re not possessed most of the time (and you aren’t, that’s a fact, regardless of circumstances. We already went over that), and choose to practise something like channeling or automatic writing instead for the most part, you’re not entitled to anyone’s input. Consider that your own “stuff” can and will get in the way. And this worsens the more you insist on not taking breaks.
To think otherwise is to be very delusional, in this case. I mean, is there anything healthy about assuming you have free access to the thoughts of a higher power anytime anywhere? No.
Look… Even if it was possible to be permanently capable of “reading” a higher power’s mind like that… Would it be wise? No, it wouldn’t. And even if you’re in doubt, that doesn’t matter, because higher powers probably already know how unwise it would be to allow such a thing. It’s not that we should “fend for ourselves” and they “don’t care enough about us”. Those are simplistic conclusions to take here. Instead, consider the possibility that free will is important. YOUR free will matters. Nobody is here to be perfect and always make flawless decisions. We’re here to learn. Let’s maybe let go of this sense of entitlement we have, which makes us go like “everything should be good and flawless and comfortable and beautiful and happy always”. Where’s the growth in that?
The other extreme is bad too — “everything must entail suffering and martyrdom, otherwise I’m not living virtuously”. NO. STOP IT.
There’s a middle way. But it’s one we find, not one we describe in a manual for everyone to follow suit.
Possession is a mystery. All mysteries have complexity to them and can’t just “casually” be grasped.
I know the “it’s not fair” crybabies will object, but I’ll say this anyway. Let’s consider that certain mysteries within traditions are guarded for a reason other than just gatekeeping. Sometimes it’s a matter of preventing the immature from misusing them and causing problems FOR THEMSELVES, let alone the community.
That said, I’m not talking about anything super specific either. Unrelated traditions all over the world identified the phenomenon and came up with ways to manage it in their own unique ways, which implies there’s something of a natural and non-ritualistic element to it, too. And it’s not a natural inclination you get to choose or control — but staying completely in the dark about it can often cause more problems than it prevents. Hence, this long article is now available to all. The intention isn’t to persuade anyone to seek an initiation anywhere, but instead, to reassure them “it’s a thing and here’s how to stay safe even if you choose to go nowhere with it”.
I also hope this helped avoid common pitfalls in mistaking the natural tendency for, uh, other unrelated things people mistake it for more often than they should. With the scarcity of information available in English, I hope to be some kind of beacon of light, even if tiny.
Feel free to let me know your thoughts!
