Why I disagree with the ship of Theseus… thing.
Is it a paradox? I don’t think it’s a paradox. I disagree with that too.
Someone shared a meme the other day in one of my social networks (nope, don’t look for me, you won’t find my social networks). Anyway, I saw a meme the other day which reminded me that this Philosophy discussion exists.
Or has existed in the past. Ya know, back when the Greeks didn’t wear pants.
Modern philosophers still keep the discussion going. Philosophers are a funny bunch, they like old stuff that should have decomposed already. That’s why they hang out with oracles like myself.
Ya know when people say “it’s impossible to unsee”? Well, actually… We unsee an awful lot of stuff, all the time. So much so, that there’s a common phenomenon called “unearthing”. Not to be mistaken with the activity carried out by Archaeologists, because Archaeologists are actually looking for old stuff to dig. This phenomenon I’m bringing to your attention is a lot more serendipitous.
For example, yesterday after work, I felt like suddenly unearthing a song everybody was dancing to 12 years ago… but today people have unseen it. They no longer even remember the moves.
…Until you unearth it, to their dismay:
Did you cringe? So did my husband yesterday.
Reactions aside, now I’ve unearthed it for you and there’s nothing you can do about it. Give it 12 more years perhaps.
If it helps, I felt similarly when that god forsaken meme unearthed the old discussion I’m talking about. I first saw it in high school. I had forgotten it exists or that there was ever a hype about it.
So… what’s the deal with Theseus’ famous ship?
If you’re learning about it for the first time:
The ship of Theseus, also known as Theseus’ paradox, is a thought experiment that raises the question of whether an object that has had all of its components replaced remains fundamentally the same object. The paradox is most notably recorded by Plutarch in Life of Theseus from the late first century. Plutarch asked whether a ship that had been restored by replacing every single wooden part remained the same ship.
Source here, click here. There ya go.
So… does a ship that has been restored by replacing every single wooden part remain the same ship?
Of-fucking-course. Why is that even a question? It has an obvious answer, it shouldn’t spark discussion.
In fact, I’m questioning the motives of all the people who think and ever thought it was up for discussion. Are they addicted to permanence? Mortally afraid of renovations? Will I traumatise them by whispering the words “Home Depot” nearby?
Hommmmmme Depooooooot (read in a stereotypical ghost’s voice)
If it’s replaceable, you can replace it without affecting the nature of the thing.
Look, I know it’s a myth, and myths are full of irreplaceable priceless things that change someone’s fate just by existing…
…But for heaven’s sake, my dude. It’s a normal wooden ship. It’s not Apollo’s silver bow that causes plague or Achilles’ 3 inches of mortal flesh.
It’s a wooden ship. That’s it. One out of hundreds, nothing in particular standing out. Hell, I bet you any money that if someone stole it in secret and gave Theseus a similar ship somewhere in the middle of the myth, he himself wouldn’t notice it. He wouldn’t be balling his eyes out like “but this is NOT my ship! this is an IMPOSTOR! It doesn’t have that specific plank with a marking that resembles my cat! [insert ugly crying here]”.
You don’t know it! It could have happened and Plutarch just forgot to write it down.
The point is: I understand sentimental value, but let’s also have limits. It’s fine to fix what is broken or give something old a bit of a retouch. Throw the first stone who has never had botox or used hair dye to hide the greys. It’s not your natural collagen, it’s not your natural hair pigment… But I bet you’re still you!
(Young people don’t count)
This whole “paradox” is kind of… unflattering for Theseus. Let’s just not?
I’m not even a fan of his and I’m feeling second-hand embarrassment. I mean… he’s regarded as a hero [last time I checked]. Not only a hero, but also, and importantly, a great sailor. I mean, he sailed from Athens to Crete and back on a wooden ship. Have you ever sailed from Athens to Crete on a wooden ship? It’s not easy. I haven’t either. Modern ships like Blue Star take upwards of 9h on the same journey and that’s just one way. (Don’t make that mistake. Go for the flight. Trust me).
Bitch, if we go by what the myth says, I’m pretty sure Theseus could sail on anything, even a wooden plank with a paddle. He could discover the Americas if the Ancients knew about them. (Imagine that! We’d all be speaking Greek).
Therefore, who the hell cares what ship belongs to Theseus? Isn’t the whole point of the myth to say that he was capable of impossible feats (much like most Greek heroes)?
Ya know… Philosophers might take offense on my article and say how dare I oppose this very valid thought exercise. Thing is, I’m not opposing the exercise itself. I’m just saying Theseus’ fucking ship isn’t the best example for that purpose. Why not use, IDK, Medusa’s severed head? “If you replace the snakes with snakes caught in the wild, is that still Medusa’s hair”? There ya go. Let’s have a debate between natural growers VS hair extension adepts. Those are magic snakes. Regardless of which version of the myth you go for (the Greek or the — arguably more misogynistic — Roman), there’s no denial that those snakes are something supernatural and have significance.
Petition to replace Theseus’ ship with Medusa’s head!
(No, you idiot. Not out of context like that). Joke’s on you, now you can’t unsee it in your mind’s eye.
Anyway, I’ve said my piece, and with this I rest my case.
